


When the Loving Starts and The Lights Go Down

by Magnetism_bind



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Blowjobs, Complicated Relationships, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mentions of Miranda - Freeform, Modern AU, Polyamory, References to Depression, Shower Sex, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Stripper AU, Weddings, past!Flinthamiltons, stripper!Silver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 22:31:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17775434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnetism_bind/pseuds/Magnetism_bind
Summary: Thomas gets a stripper for their bachelor party and James can't take his eyes off him.





	When the Loving Starts and The Lights Go Down

 

It’s Thomas’s idea; nobody is surprised by this. Thomas is, of course, the one who would suggest they get a stripper for their bachelor party.

“We’re only having one party between us.” Is how Thomas reasons it. “So we have to make it extra fun.”

“Extra fun” is not the definition James would have chosen for this.

He’s sweating a little too much in his collar shirt and tie. He’s still wearing his tie, but at least he’s loosened it; that’s basically relaxed for him. He’d come straight from work to the bar Eleanor had reserved for the event. They have a private room with a wide window where they can look out at the rest of the bar, if they want. There are jello shots for those who like that sort of thing (Thomas) and tequila shots for those who can’t abide jello (James) and little cakes shaped like penises that James can’t really face looking at, except out of the corner of his eye.

All he can actually think about is how he and Thomas are going to be _married_ , properly married. He feels like his heart will explode with happiness if it wasn’t for the undercurrent of sadness behind it. The only reason this marriage is possible is because Miranda is gone. And some days he can barely handle that, barely manage to crawl out of bed and make it to work, except he has to. He’s worked too hard to throw it away now and Miranda would be disappointed if he did that, so he keeps going.

He spends a lot of his time these days thinking on what Miranda would want. Sometimes his body aches so much with missing her that he can’t make it in to work and instead spends the day sitting in his car parked somewhere. Some days he goes for a walk and just stares at the water for a long time.

Sometimes he tells Thomas about these days, but most of the time he doesn’t have. Thomas knows how much he’s missing Miranda because Thomas misses her too.

 _She would want us to be happy._ – is what Thomas tells him when he proposes. _She would be happy for us, you know she would._   And James does know this, so he kisses Thomas and says yes.

He doesn’t say that before Miranda was gone he never let himself imagine a world where he and Thomas were the ones who were married. Miranda and Thomas had already been married when he met them and they wanted _him_ and he _fitted_ and that was that.

James does another shot of tequila and licks salt off the back of his hand and tries to let himself be happy, here in the moment. He is happy, damnit. Mostly.

There’s a fresh round of drinks and he finds Thomas who’s drinking and laughing at something Eleanor said and, slowly starts to let himself relax. They’re getting married. Marriage. Wedded. James tries to say “ _wedded_ ” under his breath to see how it sounds and starts laughing to himself.

“And now,” Eleanor announces. “For the entertainment!”

Thomas drops into the seat next to James with a thump and kisses his ear with enthusiasm. “You ready for this?” His breath is hot on James’s skin.

“What did you do?” James asks. He knows that look.

“Me? It was Eleanor who cooked this up.” Thomas tells him. but he sounds entirely too innocent and James knows he’s somehow responsible.

The curtain over the window has been drawn; the room is closed off and private now from the rest of the bar. The sinking feeling in James’s gut sinks even further. He gives Thomas a quick look but his eyes are shining in anticipation; whatever is about to happen, Thomas thinks he’s going to enjoy it, so James resigns himself to enduring it.

And then the door opens and he thinks _fuck._

There’s a slim handsome man in an exceptionally good suit standing here. His dark curls are barely restrained in a ponytail; one or two have already escaped and dangle playfully by his brow. James thinks on how they would feel wrapped around his finger and bites back a groan. This is not what he imagined happening and yet he should have seen this coming from a mile off.

The man smiles bewitchingly around the room. “Who’s the lucky groom?”

They all yell and point in the general vicinity of James and Thomas and he raises an eyebrow.

“We both are.” Thomas explains, his hand resting affectionately on James’s chest. “But _he’s_ the one getting the lap dance.” His fingers pluck playfully at James’s left nipple through his shirt.

“Right then.” The stripper smiles at James. “Where do you want it?”

 _Anywhere_. James thinks and then _fuck_ , he’s getting married, he doesn’t want to get a lap dance from this man who just has to look at James to make his body feel like it’s been electrified. _It’s just the alcohol_ , he thinks, and already knows, that’s not remotely true. He could be ten years sober and this man would still have a dazzling effect upon him.

Thomas mouths a kiss to his neck.

“Right here. I think.” He says and then, “No, there.”

There’s a chair in the middle of the room now and the stripper moves in, gripping the tail of James’s tie. “I promise to return him in one piece.” He says to Thomas who grins.

“You have my blessing.”

The stripper laughs and the sound of it sends shock waves down James’s dick. It sounds so natural, like he’s really enjoying this, like he _wants_ to give James a lap dance, and then just like that, the alcohol really kicks in and James thinks _why the hell not_.

He lets himself be led across the room, watching the easy sway of the stripper’s hips, lets himself imagine how it would feel to slide his hands down them, pulling the man’s body back against him, how it would feel to grind against that svelte ass, hot and hard until he comes.

The stripper nudges him down into a chair and grins down at him. “Music?” He asks, without taking his eyes off James. He’s got eyes as blue as Thomas’s, and that should make it weird, but instead it makes James aware of just how warm he is and how close the man is standing, and just how much he’s already turned on.

A song starts and the stripper slides down on his lap, grinding subtly against James’s crotch.

“So, getting married, huh?”

“That is what normally happens following a bachelor party.” James says, aware of the man’s covered groin pressing subtly against his own. Fuck, he’s already half hard. This is going to be embarrassing. He pretends it’s not happening, willing his arousal to fade.

“Mhm.” The stripper puts a hand on his shoulder, pressing closer. “You’d be surprised at how often people call it off. I’ve seen a lot of bachelor & bachelorette parties that never made it to the altar.” He tilts his head back, letting James admire the succulents lines of his chest and how fucking flexible he appears. “You two look happy together though.”

“We are.” James says, wondering what do with his hands. Over the stripper’s shoulder he can see Thomas sipping a drink and watching, a smirk on his lips. Thomas always had enjoyed watching.

The stripper slides around so that his back is to James, pressing his butt to James’s groin. “Congratulations.”

“Mmm?” James murmurs, trying not to give in to the urge to grip that butt.

“It’s nice to see a happy couple.” The stripper says softly. And then he turns his head and James is struck again by the expression in the startling blue of his eyes, drawing him in like a relentless wave.

“You can touch me, by the way.” Like he knows what James is thinking, like he’s noticed James’s hands knotted into tight fists at his side, holding himself back. Slowly James raises his hands to rest on the man’s hips. And then he grips the man with pure instinct, sliding his thumbs down the smooth sides of him.

“Yeah, just like that.” The stripper whispers, grinding harder as he swivels again, face to face with James and then he smiles. The music is too loud, he’s so close and James feels himself harden to fully erect. So does the stripper, by the way his smile widens.

“Like that, do you?”

“Look, I’m sorry about that.” James starts to apologize, thoroughly embarrassed now. 

“Oh, no, no.” The stripper leans in, pressing tightly against the swell of James’s dick, rubbing directly against it. “Don’t apologize for one~ single ~ inch ~ of this.” He grins at James, his fingers playing along the curve of James’s shoulder. “What if I get you all hot and bothered and he sees it?  Mmm? And then he can’t wait till he gets you home, no, that would take too long for him. He has to have you now.” He leans in to nip at James’s ear with his teeth, “So he takes you into the toilets and sinks straight into you.”

James bites back a groan at the man’s words. What is he doing? How can he make this sound so hot? But just imagining it, Thomas’s desire over his state of arousal, needing to fuck James right then, makes James even harder.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” the stripper whispers, rolling his hips so that it’s all James can do to bite his lip to keep from coming in his trousers. “ _He’d_ like that.” The stripper licks James’s ear and it tingles, right across the same spot Thomas kissed him earlier, and then in the exact same spot, the stripper _bites_ him, and his whole body jerks.

“Yeah,” The stripper pants, “He’s gonna fuck you so hard and you’ll be so tight and hot, and when you come,” he presses in hot and hard against James, grinding his crotch against James’s dick, “I bet you think about me, just for a split second.”

There’s a surge inside James’s trousers; he can feel the first drops of pre-come there, between them and he thinks, _oh god, I need to come, I need…_

And then the stripper pulls back to flash James a dirty grin. “Now, go fuck your husband-to-be.” He says and slips off James’s lap, making James moan with frustration.

He straightens up, facing the room. “Now, who’s ready to see me get naked?”

His words are met with raucous cheers as everyone affirms they’re more than ready.

James finds himself thankful the room is dark, his trousers are gray, he's safe for now. He can feel every inch of his dick throb as he pushes himself to his feet. He feels drunk on arousal, unsteady on his legs as he makes his way over to Thomas and grabs at him, his hands knotted in Thomas’s shirt.

“You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” Thomas reaches for his face, kissing him.

“I need you to fuck me,” James says through gritted teeth, “Right now.”

There’s a flash of heat in Thomas’s eyes, his gaze sliding down James’s body and then he grins. “But darling, don’t you want to see him naked?”

And James _does_ , but he’s already hard and he’s dying here.

Thomas simply pulls him down at the table, his hand sliding along James’s thigh, making his thighs ache more.

“I’ll fuck you after.” Thomas murmurs, his palm stroking lightly upward. James’s pulse races. Thomas’s hand drifts further and then over him, and Thomas leans in to bite at his ear. “He really got you hot, didn’t he?”

James growls in frustration, which only makes Thomas laugh. “Look at how gorgeous he is.”

So James does. He’s also thankful the stripper had kept his clothes on for that lap dance. He’s fairly sure he would have died sitting in that chair if the man had been that close to him and as naked as he is now. His trousers are gone and he’s wearing tight black briefs that show off his ass, and his shirt’s still on, and then he reaches for his buttons, one by one.

Thomas’s fingers glide over James’s clothed length. “Look at those hips.” Thomas whispers. “I bet he felt amazing against you.”

“Thomas.” James grabs the closest drink on the table to him and downs it.. When he looks up, James catches the stripper watching him and then the man clearly mouths, “ _What are you waiting for? Get on with it!”_ at him.

James swallows reflexively, belatedly tasting the sweetness of the alcohol on his tongue, belatedly wondering what he just drank, and then he leans in close to Thomas.

“Thomas, if you don’t go in the toilets with me right now, I am going by myself and I’m going to get myself off.” He rises to his feet.

“Fuck, you’re serious.” Thomas starts laughing. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” His hands slide across James’s ass and then they’re heading down the hall to the bathroom, kissing and fumbling at each other, and over Thomas’s shoulder, James catches sight of the stripper grinning at him like lightning, quick and bright and gone, leaving him feeling singed to the bone.

Once in the toilets, James slams Thomas up against the wall. “You asshole, making me wait.”

“I like seeing you like this.” Thomas drags his teeth along the swell of James’s neck. He nudges a knee between James’s thighs and James spreads them obligingly.

“Tell me you have lube.”

“It’s a bachelor party.” Thomas reaches in his pocket. “Of course I have lube.”

James gets his trousers down and his cock springs free. Oh god, he can breathe now, but he’s still aching for release. He runs a hand down his length, trying not to moan from the contact of his own hand.

“Now that is truly beautiful.” Thomas says. “It’s magnificent. Look at how hard he got you.”

 _He._ The stripper did that. And he’s out there, knowing exactly what James and Thomas are doing now. James throbs even more.

“Feel like I should take a picture to commemorate this moment.” Thomas grabs his phone and snaps a pic before James can tell him…what? He doesn’t care if Thomas has yet another dick pic, but this one…

Thomas slips two lubed fingers into him and James sucks hard on his lower lip. The alcohol is thrumming in his system. His mouth feels heavy and his tongue hungry, he kisses Thomas, wet and messy, and then Thomas is inside him, and they’re fucking hard against the bathroom wall, hearts pounding, and James feels like he’s going to explode, he’s going to come so hard they’ll be able to hear him over the fucking bass out in the bar.  And as he comes, he does think of the stripper for a moment, of that blinding smile, and the dazzling blue of his eyes, and the svelte press of the man’s tight ass against his cock, and James comes with a sigh.

Thomas sucks on his tongue, drawing another moan out of him, coming inside James with a gasp.

“Fuck, I’m buying you a personal stripper, if that what he does to you.” He whispers.

It’s a joke and James laughs it off.

They kiss there lazily, leaning against the wall, until James’s legs feel slightly more able to stand. And then they tidy themselves and go back out.

James smiles as Thomas kisses his cheek, his hand in the back pocket of James’s trousers, and then he looks up. The stripper is still here and he’s watching them.

James freezes. Somehow he’d thought the man would be gone by now. He hadn’t thought of seeing him again. He doesn’t know what to do with the man’s gaze, knowing what he knows. Knowing that he had a good hand in making James come back there.

“Another round?” Thomas says.

“Shouldn’t we be getting home soon?”

“One more and then we’ll go.” Thomas drops a kiss on his mouth and goes over to the private bar.

James returns to the table, aware that while everyone has an idea of what they’ve been up to, the stripper actually knows.  The hot uncomfortable feeling in his chest amplifies and it takes him a moment to realize it’s not just embarrassment but also arousal. He literally just came, and he’s still turned on by the fucking stripper and the fact that the man knows he turned James on and then Thomas and he fucked in the toilets.

He looks up to see Thomas talking to the man in question.

James’s cheeks burn. Surely Thomas wouldn’t tell him what they had just done, would he? Surely the stripper wouldn’t say anything to Thomas? Would he? Now that he thinks about it, the amount of talking the stripper did, did seem highly inappropriate. He was just supposed to take his clothes off and look good and instead he had offered up a highly effective method of turning James on.

“Here we are.” Thomas says cheerfully, putting a pair of drinks down in front of him.

“What did you say to him?” James demands.

“Who?”

“The stripper.”

“I gave him a large tip.” Thomas says, taking a sip of his own drink.

“You didn’t.” James gapes at him.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Thomas.” James takes a gulp and the vodka kicks in. He can’t fucking believe Thomas sometimes. “Let’s go.”

“Mmmmm.” Thomas looks crestfallen. “It’s our party.”

So James downs his drink and goes to get another. He doesn’t watch the stripper grinding with Max on the dance floor or the way everyone else seems to be having an excellent time. He has another drink, and then another. He winds up sitting at the table again, feeling the need to rest just for a bit until his head clears, and the stripper slides onto his lap.

“I take it that went well in there.”

James looks up at him. “It did.” He tries not to stare the man’s sweaty chest, or the way his neck seems faintly covered in glitter. Or his nipples. James stares a little too hard while he tries not to at the man’s nipples and thinks of how they would feel under his tongue. He’s so very nearly naked and James eyes the delicious lines leading down to his groin. God, he’s going to die from just looking at the man.

The stripper smiles at him with amused eyes. “You’re ready to go home to bed, aren’t you, handsome?”

“Mmmm.” James agrees. “More than ready if you’re coming home with me.” His hand strokes along the man’s forearm.

The stripper just smiles. “I wish.”

He leans in to brush a lock of hair back from James’s forehead. “You ever need a stripper again, let me know.” He’s so close and James is dying to kiss him so much that he feels the ache back to the day he first read a line of poetry about a boy, and his heart started racing a little too fast and he _wanted_ ….The man’s eyes are blue as the sea, and James reaches up to brush his fingers along his jaw.

“Your eyes are breathtaking.” He murmurs.

The man stills, gazing down at him. “What?”

James leans up and kisses him, sliding his tongue into the man’s mouth like it’s coming home. There’s a split second of stillness and then the man kisses him back. James’s hands are in his hair, and on his ass, the press of the man’s form warm and eager against his, he tastes familiar and good, and James sucks on his tongue, fingers twisting in his hair and then the man pulls off with a gasp.

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have…” He slides off James’s lap with alacrity. “Look, I’m sorry.” And then he’s simply gone, and James leans back, heart pounding. What just happened? His head feels too heavy.

And then Thomas is there and they’re in a cab and James keeps thinking there’s something he needs to tell Thomas, but what? And then they’re in bed, and Thomas is saying he loves him and James is saying it back, and then James wakes up, feeling like hell with a raging hangover.

“Fuck.” He groans.

“Mmmm, I love you too.” Thomas rolls over and kisses him. “Shower. You taste like tequila.” He gets up and James lies there. He licks his lips and then, it comes back to him.

_Fuck._

He sits up, and then with another groan, crawls off the bed and lands on the floor.

“Thomas. Thomas?”

“What?” Thomas comes out of the bath naked. “What’s wrong?”

“I kissed the stripper.” James blurts out in an agony of confession weighing heavily on him. And Thomas just starts laughing.

 “Well, I should hope so. He was very kissable.”

 

*  *  *

 

The wedding is fine. James forgets half of his vows and stammers his way through the rest. They get locked out of the rectory where the gifts and more importantly their keys arem but Anne breaks in through the window and Thomas says “I cherish you,” and it doesn’t matter that three days ago James kissed a stripper. That’s what happens at bachelor parties after all and they’re married now, officially Mr. and Mr. McGraw.

 

*  *  *

 

They don’t go on a honeymoon, but they do go on a weekend mini-break, which they spend in bed, reading and having proper married sex.

“It’s legal now.” Thomas informs him. “This is a very legal blowjob I’m giving you, husband.”

James chortles at him saying husband in this fashion.

“Please pay attention,” Thomas says with great dignity from between his thighs. “Otherwise you might not notice how this blowjob differs from previous, unmarried blowjobs.”

James tries to stop laughing and fails miserably.

 

*  *  *

 

They’ve only been married for a month when James starts getting slammed at work and Thomas is working overtime at his non-for-profit organization and some nights they’re so tired, they barely have time to kiss and fall into bed. It’s still better because they’re together.

James is exhausted half of the time and one night he’s walking up the flights to the flat (because of course the lift is out of order again) when his phone buzzes.

_Working late. Left a surprise for you. Enjoy. Love –T._

James hopes it’s food because he doesn’t have the energy to think of something to make this late. He unlocks the door and stops dead in the doorway.

“Hi.” The stripper says cheerfully. “Welcome home.”

“What are you doing here?” James croaks. That’s not all he wants to ask. _What are you doing here, clearly naked on my couch, except for the pillow over your crotch?_

“I gather things have been stressful at work.”

“How do you know that?”

“Your husband hired me. For you.” The stripper says, like he has to spell this out for James, and clearly he does.

James grabs his phone and ducks into the kitchen and calls Thomas. “What is happening?”

“You don’t sound relaxed.”

“There’s a fairly naked stripper on our sofa.” James hisses. “What the fuck, Thomas?”

“I thought you’d enjoy it.” Thomas says. “Also there’s curry in the fridge. Enjoy.” He hangs up.

“Thomas. _Thomas_.” James hisses, immediately calling him back.

“James, are you neglecting that handsome man?”

“What do you expect me to do with him?” James asks in desperation.

“Whatever you like, my love, within reason.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, he’s a stripper, not a prostitute so…whatever he wants to do. Obviously.”

“Thomas, why on earth?”

“You kissed him.” Thomas says cryptically. “And you enjoyed that lap dance, and you think he’s attractive, James, don’t deny it.”

“I’m not trying to deny it.” James says. “I just don’t know what you expect me to do here.”

“I expect you to have fun.” Thomas sounds faintly exasperated at this point. “James…let yourself be happy.”

“I am happy.” James says helplessly.

There’s a moment of silence. “Not entirely.” Thomas says at last.

“Thomas?”

“I just thought this would…” Thomas pauses. “I just want you to be happy.” He says so softly James strains to hear him. And the phone goes quiet.

James sighs. Now there’s a conversation that needs to happen and he doesn’t want to, because how do you tell your husband, that you still missed his wife?

 

*  *  *

 

He goes back into the living room only to find the stripper in the process of putting on his trousers.

“I think I should go.” The man says, finishing the zipper. “Um, tell Thomas I’ll refund him.” He reaches for his shirt.

“No.” James says abruptly. “Please stay.”

The stripper pauses mid-button. “I don’t think you’re really in the mood.”

“Not really to get a lap dance, no.” James admits. “But some company, yes…”

“Company?” The man echoes.

 “Look, all I want to do is eat some food and watch some tv.”

The man looks at him skeptically. “And you want to do that with me?”

“You do eat, right?”

The stripper grins. “Oh, I eat.”

“Then come on.” James goes back in the kitchen. “Besides, if I send you home and you refund Thomas, he’ll just be disappointed.”

“And you’d hate to disappoint him.” The stripper says quietly.

“Yes.” James says, a trifle defensively.

“All right.” The stripper says finally. “Not usually how my evenings go, but all right.” He finishes buttoning his shirt.

“What’s your name?” James blurts out, suddenly realizing he hadn’t asked it at the bachelor party and he can’t believe that after everything had happened, but he also know it’s partly due to his conscience wanting to forget. Even though Thomas hadn’t minded, he’d still felt guilty over what had happened, and so he hadn’t let himself think about the curly-haired man with the beautiful blue eyes, not once.

The crinkles around the man’s eyes deepen. “John.”

“James.” John puts out a hand for the man to shake. “Sorry, I should have introduced myself before.”

“That’s all right.” John shrugs.

“Drink?”

“Sure.”

“What’ll you have?”

“Beer?”

James gets them each a beer and looks in the fridge to see what Thomas had left. “Thai all right?”

“Sounds delicious.” John watches him get the dish out of the fridge. “Thomas make that for you?”

“He did.” James says with a satisfied expression. “We both cook but it depends on who has the time and he’s had more lately.” He sets it on the counter.

“So…tv?” John takes a sip of beer.

“There’s a documentary I was going to watch.” James starts to get out plates. “But we can watch something else…”

“What’s the documentary?” John takes another.

“The history of ships.” James glances warily at him.

John grins at him. “You really know how to show a guy a good time.”

“Hey, this wasn’t my idea.” James says, indignantly. “If I had known…”

John grins over his beer. “You’d have had time to prepare.”

“Yeah.”

“And what would you have done?” John sounds genuinely interested so James actually gives this some thought.

“I’d take you for a walk through the park for starters. Maybe stop for a drink by the river.” He can picture it fairly easy, the light breeze over the riverfront whispering through John’s hair as they lean on the railing, watching the sun set over the water.

“And then?”

“And then….” It’s been a long time since James has dated. Miranda and Thomas and he all knew what they liked to do together. There had been lazy afternoons in the park when they had read, and concerts and lectures they’d attended together and all the museums they’d spent hours wandering through. He feels his throat tighten a little and he quickly takes a sip of beer before speaking again.

“Music.” James says finally. “Somewhere with music.” Somehow he knows that’s right.

“Nice.” John nods. “And then?”

“And then I’d ask if I could see you home.” James says softly. For a moment he’s forgotten that this is a theoretical date and not a situation where he can lean over and kiss John again and see where that kiss leads next. And yet…Thomas brought him here. Thomas arranged this.

“I’d have said yes, by the way.” John says belatedly, a little helplessly. “Just so you know. James…what are we doing here?”

James licks his lips. “I don’t know.” He doesn’t, but he desperately doesn’t want to mess it up.

“Do you want me to go?” John asks uncertainly.

“No.” Of that James is certain.

There’s a moment and John licks his lips hesitantly, his tongue tracing a path that James ached to follow. “Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes.”

John moves in. “Good, cause I want that too.”

With a shuddery breath, James reaches out and places his finger along John’s collarbone, tracing lightly up his neck. “This is something you want right?”

“Oh trust me, I don’t make a habit of kissing clients.” John says.

“So what was that, then? That night?” James asks, in all sincerity. He doesn’t know what he’s doing here either. _Have fun_ , Thomas said. _I just want you to be happy_ , Thomas said. _You kissed him_ , Thomas said.

“Well, I suppose I don’t consider you a client.” John tilts his head back looking at him. “Not now at any rate. Or even that night…not really.”

“Oh… so what am I?” James finds his hands wandering further down John’s shirt, brushing down his chest. He can feel John’s body responding, his nipples pointedly making their presence known against John’s shirt, demanding James’s attention.

“Given time, we might become friends.” John murmurs. “But apart from that, you’re a man I very much want to kiss again.”

“The feeling is mutual.” James tells him and pulls him closer by his shirt, leaning down to do just that. This time, John’s leg hooks around his, pressing against him and James sucks harder on his tongue as he feels John’s heat against his own. He feels drunk all over again, just from the taste of John’s lips.

“Oh god.” John drags off, hands gripping the counter behind him. “Are…you….is this…”

“Do you tend towards incoherency in situations like this?”

“Not usually.” John admits, a small smile flirting at the corner of his mouth.

James’s hand slips between his legs, and is rewarded with a groan.

“What’re you doing?” John gasps.

“I want…” The tables have turned, James discovers, for his own words fail him as he sinks to his knees. “I need.” He unzips John with unsteady fingers and draws him out. “I need your cock in my mouth _now_.”

“Fuck.” John’s grip tightens on the counter as James rubs his cheek against his cock. The rasp of James’s stubble on his sensitive cock makes him groan louder.

At the sound of it, greedy and needy and hungry and all those delicious words that make James harden more, he can’t hold back any longer. He grasps John by the base and takes him in his mouth.

If he _had_ had his way, he would have dragged it out longer, made John wait. He wants to do that, but his own need overtakes him. James can barely hold himself back, his tongue working over John’s dick with a fervor and urgency that gives him away. He’s so close already, his nose buried in the dark curls at John’s groin. He closes his eyes and he’s lost as John surrenders.

 _Thomas should be here_ , James thinks, and swallows.

He sits back on his ankles, half blinded by the fact of what he just did. John’s just standing there, staring down at him with a dazed look on his face.

“Do you want…” John stops, and then licks his lips. “Just lie down.”

“What, right here on the floor?” James starts to laugh and then stops at the intent look in John’s eyes.

“Yes, right here on the floor.” John growls and so James leans back, still half propped up on his elbows to watch as John joins him on the kitchen floor, crawling between his legs.

“You think you can do that sort of thing without any repercussions?” John purrs and James’s dick pushes eagerly against his own jeans. “I don’t think so, sir.”

“God.” James’s head falls back. “Say that again.”

“What?” John’s lips narrow into a smirk. “Sir?”

“Fuck.” James didn’t even know that was a thing, but apparently it is. He’s never been turned on by titles, (Oh, all right that’s a lie, there was a costume party he and Thomas had attended on when they were first dating and he had spent the entire evening calling Thomas ‘my lord’ and getting turned on by it, but that was one time.) But for some reason he can imagine John calling him various ones and seeing how it wouldn’t be bad at all. Sir. Professor. _Captain_. _Mmm,_ thinks James’s dick, _captain does very nicely_.

John takes him out of his briefs and grins. He shoots a look at James. “I see why Thomas married you.”

“Are you seriously talking about my husband right now while you’re about to suck my dick?”

“I think it’s only appropriate, don’t you?” John licks a stripe down his cock. “He’s the one who brought us together after all. The one who brought me here tonight.”

It’s true. James thinks about Thomas, how happy he looked at the bachelor party, when James was looking at John. _It’s all right_ , he thinks. _This is all right._

John licks all around the head, teasing James with the tip of his tongue. Somehow he has the ability to maintain control here, and James is envious. No doubt it’s because he’s already come but it’s still irritating. James likes to retain that measure of control over himself. It’s so rare that he lets himself lose it.

And here he is, lying on his back on the kitchen floor, giving it up to a stripper who just has to smile around his dick to make James want to beg.

“What’re you waiting for?” He manages.

“For you to beg.” John says, leaning down to nuzzle at his balls.

James groans. He closes his eyes. He cants his hips just slightly, hoping John will just take the hint. Instead there’s the faintest hint of teeth and he gasps, cock throbbing even harder at the scrape of it.

“Come on.” John’s whisper reaches him in the darkness. “Just beg me and I’ll give you everything you want.”

James snorts slightly. “That’s not true.”

“Oh?” John’s tongue curls around the tip of his cock again and James strangles the embarrassing noise he wants to make deep in his throat. “Why not?”

“Because I want to fuck you.”

The words hang there in the air, and then John’s tongue slides down to tease his balls. “Go on.”

James licks his dry lips. His mouth tastes of John and he licks that. “I…don’t know what it is about you, but I just…want to take you to bed and keep you there. For hours, working my way over your body, learning it inch by inch, learning what makes you laugh, what arouses you. What you like to do, what fantasies exist in that head of yours.” He sucks in a breath as John kisses his way up his achingly erect cock.

“And then I’d keep you in bed, long after we were spent. Talking. About anything that came to mind, just running my fingers through your hair.”

John makes an appreciative murmur as he swallows James down to the hilt.

James smiles in satisfaction as he opens his eyes. It’s not begging, but it seems to have done the trick as he gazes on the curly-haired head moving between his thighs. Only now he realizes that while John’s not giving up any amount of control, his mouth and tongue are persuading James to give up everything he _has_.

He spills in John’s mouth, hips bucking helplessly his fingers sinking into John’s hair at the last minute, giving in and pulling.

John pulls off with a wet smack of his lips, pushing a hand through his hair as he gazes at James in satisfaction.

“I’ll tell you something.” John props his chin on James’s thigh, grinning lazily at him.

“What’s that?”

“You give a good imaginary first date.”

James licks his lips again. “It wouldn’t be imaginary if.” He starts and then cuts himself off. This is fun and Thomas wants him to be happy, and they’ve done a little more than kissing now, but he can’t make promises about the future to this man. He’s married.

He lets himself breathe for another moment, just enjoying the weight of John’s body on his thigh and then he pushes himself into a sitting position, only for John to slide slightly, so that his face is resting against James’s crotch for the barest second and then John is upright too.

They’re sitting there on the kitchen floor and James can think of a million things he should do but…he just doesn’t want John to go yet. And he knows that’s going to be the next thing out of John’s mouth.

“So…that drink?”

John laughs. “That beer might be warm by now.”

“How about a whiskey and soda?” James suggests.

“All right.” John allows James to pull himself to his feet.

“And you’ll stay…” James catches himself asking. “Just for a while?”

“Sure.” John says. “We haven’t watched any tv yet.”

James grins at him.

 

*  *  * 

 

When Thomas gets home that night he finds the two of them sleeping in bed, the tv frozen on pause.

John stirs and sees him. “hey.”

“Hello.” Thomas whispers.

He watches John slip out of bed without disturbing James who’s dead to the world.

“I should go.”

“Are you sure?” Thomas asks.

“Yeah. I have work in the morning.” John brushes a hand through his hair. “Um…Can we talk for a moment?”

“Sure.” Thomas gestures to the living kitchen.

“I want to refund you for tonight.” John begins. “I can’t take money…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” John shrugs. “Everything we did tonight, I did…because I wanted to and I didn’t do it for money.”

“I know.”

“If you’re open to this….give me a call.”

“It would be my pleasure.” Thomas murmurs.

John hesitates and then leans up to kiss him. It’s a soft kiss that barely lasts any time at all, but leaves them lingering close together just for a moment, enjoying the shared intimacy of the moment, and then John looks up at him.

“There, now we’re even.” He grins. “Actually, that’s not true. But it’s a little late for a blowjob.”

Thomas raises an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

John winces. “Probably should have let him tell you that. But if I know him, he’ll probably confess in the morning.”

“Most likely,” Thomas smiles. “And you do seem to. Rather well already."

John shrugs. "Sometimes you just click with people." He says the words lightly, but somehow Thomas knows, neither of them are taking this matter lightly at all.

 

*  *  *

 

The moment James wakes up, he rolls over sharply, searching the bed next to him. It’s empty.

“Good morning.” Thomas says from the doorway.

James blinks up at him. “Thomas. John was here?”

“I know.” Thomas takes a sip from his mug of tea.

“When did he leave?” James sits up.

“Around two am was when I got home.”

“Christ, I’m sorry.” James says. At Thomas’s raised eyebrow he says, “That you had to work so late.”

“Mmmhm, it’s all right.” Thomas says. He comes over and sits down on the bed. “Did you have a good time last night?”

James’s blush and smile tells him everything he needs to know.

“Good,” Thomas says contentedly, taking another sip of tea.

James leans over and kisses his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you.” James leans in closer and kisses his mouth. “Although there is something I need to tell you.”

“Is this about the blowjob?” Thomas asks innocently.

James stares at him, then his eyes narrow. “You spoke to John.”

“I spoke to John.” Thomas confirms. “Also the two of you looked quite at home together when I found you.”

“We fell asleep.”

“I know.”

“He’s…” James tries to think of a way to describe John, how to explain to Thomas, how he’s feeling, “Nothing like I imagined.” He says and he knows it’s not nearly enough to do John justice.

“Would you like to see him again?”

“In what capacity?”

“What capacity would you like to see him again?” Thomas asks getting up. James follows him into the kitchen as he puts the kettle on to make another cup of tea.

“Well, I mean…I don’t want to hire him as a stripper, even though he’s very talented.” He has to say it before Thomas does.

“He is, isn’t he?” Thomas murmurs. “How would you like to go out for coffee?”

“Thomas, are you suggesting I date him?”

“Well, I was going to suggest we date him, but if you don’t want me to join in…”

“Are you shitting me?” James stares at him. “Of course, I want that. That’s…Thomas.”

“Tea?” Thomas asks.

“Tea and you and John.” James says, and kisses his husband.

 

*  *  *

 

Of course later the doubt settles in. How can they date John? Surely the chemistry was a fluke, a wild happenstance. Just because you're attracted to John doesn’t mean you’re meant for each other after all, James reminds himself.

But all the same, he wants it, he wants to see John again, wants John.

“You should just text him.” Thomas tells him when he’s been pacing around the house.

“And say what?”

“You’ll come up with something sweet,” Thomas nuzzles his shoulder. “Remember those letters you sent me when I was abroad for a year.”

“Thomas, those were…”

“Missives of love.” Thomas kisses his chest and climbs atop him. “I’m sure you can manage a simple text.”

 

*  *  *

 

“Just text him.” Thomas says for the hundredth time. It's been a week.

“And say what?” James  says again, staring at him.

“That you want to have coffee together, some conversation perhaps, his cock in your mouth again.” Thomas says this last part casually enough that James doesn’t register it at first and then he chokes on his coffee.

Thomas just grins. “Well?”

He’s not wrong. James hasn’t been able to stop thinking about that, or the possibility of Thomas joining them. It’s been a week and he’s nearly perpetually hard because of this train of thought. It’s not a problem exactly; he doesn’t know what it is.

 

_James, just text him._

James hears Thomas’s words again. He stares at his phone and then finally, taps the words hesitantly  - _would you care to get coffee sometime?_

 _This is James_ , he adds belatedly.

_From the bachelor party…and the other night._

Christ, that’s too much.

It’s exactly seven minutes before there’s a reply.

_I remember you._

The fuck does that mean.

_When?_

One word but it means everything. the tightness in James’s stomach both eases and intensifies. He hesitates and then. _This afternoon?_

_4:00 good?_

They share a few suggestions of coffeehouses and finally settle on one.

James spends the rest of the day not getting any work done whatsoever. He’s texted Thomas to tell him of course, to which he got a response that consisted of a string of emojis that seem both enthusiastic and pornographic, and then simply _have fun._

 _Have fun._ James smiles, and then snorts. He’s not going to get off with John in a coffeeshop for fuck’s sake.

 

*  *  *

 

He gets there early and debates whether or not to go ahead and order or wait. It feels rude to order before John arrives but the scowling barista seems to imply that he has no right to stay there without ordering something. So he gives in and orders a black coffee and takes a table by the window when he sees John enter the coffee shop.

He spies James and smiles, then gestures at the counter. James nods and waits, doing his best not to stare at ass and failing utterly. If it were Thomas in his place he’d take a picture of Silver’s backside and send it to him. The thought makes him smile and then he looks up to see John walking towards him, gazing down at him.

John stops abruptly coffee sloshing over his fingers. “Ow, fuck.”

“Sorry, did you burn yourself?” James asks, concerned.

“Not too badly.” John sinks into the chair across from him. “Warn a man next time before you’re going to smile at him like that.” He sticks his fingers in his mouth.

“Oh.”” James says and then, because he wants to confess, but the sight of John sucking on his fingers distracts him no end. “I was thinking about my husband.”

John grins. “Charming. That how you get all the boys?”

James coughs. “No, well, just um. It’s just if he were here…he would have taken a photograph of your….” His cheeks heat up. “posterior. And texted it to me.”

John’s smile is contagious and intimate, as he leans in. “Are you saying you were looking at my butt?”

James is lost in his eyes. He knows words, how to speak them and everything.

“Yes.” He says at last.

John grins. “It’s safe to say your lovely husband knows and is all right with you seeing me again?”

“Yes.” James says. “In fact he’s the one who made me.” No, that sounds wrong, and the expression in John’s eyes makes him amend his words immediately. “Not made. Encouraged.”

“Ah.” John takes a sip of coffee. “I’ll have to thank him at some point.”

His eyes dance mischievously and James can only imagine what that thank you would entail. His trousers grow tighter and he’s grateful for the table shielding him from John’s perceptive gaze.

He takes a sip of coffee and John does the same.

“You and Thomas spoke…that evening didn’t you?”  James begins.

“A little.” John says.

James nods. He hesitates. He doesn’t want...He doesn’t want to tell a man who, no matter how much James is drawn to him, no matter how of a connection he feels, is still a complete stranger, about Miranda, not yet. It’s hard enough talking about her with Thomas and they were married for christsake. But the idea of entering into a relationship with someone who has no idea what, or came before, is impossible. 

He swallows, suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, and the foolish idea that this was anything remotely resembling a good idea. “Look….maybe we should…” He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say.

John hesitates and then. “Look, I don’t know precisely what’s going on but you seem to have a very loving husband who, for all intents and purposes appears to think we should see each other.” He looks at James carefully. “Tell me, I’m wrong.”

“It’s just…more complicated than that.” He hesitates.

“I see.” John says after a moment when it’s become apparent that James isn’t going to speak further. “Well in that case, I should probably go.” He rises to his feet.

“I mean.” James pauses. What can he say?

John raises an eyebrow.

James swallows, again hesitating at speaking of such a private matter.

John sighs. “Look, James I really like you and though I haven’t had the same experience with Thomas, I really like him too, so if you ever decide…” He shrugs and turns for the door.

James sits there and then he thinks of Thomas. What if Thomas in missing Miranda too, thinks this truly is the best step forward? Thomas bears the grief so much better sometimes, it takes James a while to remember he’s grieving too. You can’t heal a broken heart by another person, (James knows this, and Thomas does too) but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take advantage of fate when it opens a door for you. How often did that happen after all?

He gets to his feet and goes outside, turning in both directions. John’s halfway down the block, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched against the chill.

“John! Wait!”

There’s no response and for a moment James fears he’s missed the opportunity but then he notices the slight sway to John’s walk, the bobbing of his head. The little shit’s listening to music, he thinks and starts jogging after him.

He catches up with John, laying a hand on his shoulder. “John.”

“Look, mate.” John turns and stops. “Oh.” He takes out an earbud, completely lost to view in his thick curls.

James nearly sighs in relief. “I’m sorry.” He blurts out. “I want to see you.” he stands there gazing at John, watching the breeze tickle through his curls. “I lost someone.” He says quietly, watching the ways John’s eyes soften in understanding, not in pity as he feared.

“We lost someone.” He amends. “And it’s been…hard. I’ve been…grieving, I'm still grieving.” He licks his lips. “I’m not going about this the right way. I miss her. I’m not trying to replace her.” His gaze focuses on John once more. “But I do want to get to know you.”

“Get to know me.” John repeats with amusement. “What else does that entail?”

“Well, for starters, I’d like to finish having coffee together.” James says. “Please.”

John doesn’t move. “What else does it entail?”

James feels his mouth twitching. He’s 90% certain John is just fucking with him now and maybe he deserves it.

“Depends on what you want.” The moment he says that, he regrets it.

There’s an instant light kindled in John’s eyes. “What I want.” He murmurs, leaning forward into James’s personal space. “is more.”

“More.” James repeats, his throat a little too constriction all of a sudden.

“More.” John says again. “Of you.”

His gaze travels over James in a decidedly hungry expression.

“Well.” James clears his throat. “I do own a coffee maker.”

John grins. “Your place then.” He nods at him. “Lead the way.”

They walk down the street together and James keeps glancing at hi as they do. “What did you and Thomas speak about anyway?”

“You.” John says serenely. At James’s expression he laughs. “Not that much.”

James sighs. He senses John wants to ask more about the partner they lost, but is refraining and he appreciates it. “Does this happen a lot?”

“What?” John looks at him quizzically.

“Repeat clients…that wind up on coffee dates?”

“No.” John says smiling slightly. “I can safely say this has never happened before.”

“Oh.” James seems surprised.

John eyes him. “You think I fuck every client who thinks I’m attractive?”

“Is that we’re going to do?” James asks.

“Unless you have a burning desire to play Parcheesi.”

James looks at John who appears perfectly serious but the corners of his mouth crinkle faintly with laughter giving him away.

“Not entirely sure we own Parcheesi.” James says thoughtfully. “But I bet I could find a deck of cards somewhere.”

“If you suggest strip poker, I swear to god.” John sounds on the verge of laughter.

“Seems like you’d have an unfair advantage there.” James observes.

“How’s that?” John looks at him curiously.

“Well you’re wearing too many layers today.” James takes in his jacket over his sweater, thick boots, jeans clinging to his svelte hips and the scarf looped lightly around his throat.

“This is a normal amount of clothing to be wearing in this weather.” John tells him.

“Mmm.”James says.

 

*  *  *

 

They finally reach the street James and Thomas live on. James feels his heart speed up as they head up the walk together. He glances at John again and John looks at him.

James can’t wait any longer. He reaches for John, pulling him to him, and John resists just a fraction, enough to make John down at him quizzically.

“Are you sure you want this?” John asks. He’s asking, _are you sure you want me?_

“Yes.” James says and kisses him.

He pushes John up against his front door, cradling him between the hard wood of the door and his own body. John moans in response and then James is fumbling with his key, getting the door open and nudging John inside.

“There.” He says.

John grins up at him. “Are we going to continue where we left off in the kitchen?”

“I rather thought we’d continue somewhere else?” James reaches for him again.

 _Take him to bed_ his brain says, but his body wants John now, here. They’re on the sofa and he ends up on his back, John straddling him, pressing down against his fully aroused cock, James biting his lip as John rubs against him.

“Tell me how much you want this.” He whispers.

“What’re you trying to do? Get me to come in my trousers?” James growls.

“Maybe.” John grins. “Why, is that a tendency of yours?”

James reaches up, sliding a hand through his curls and rolls them, so that John's pressed down upon the cushions.

 "There.” He says.

John laughs up at him, not mockingly James exactly, not anything…but enjoyable.

James simply presses him down and kisses him. John’s body fits so well against his own.

James slips a hand between them, getting John’s jeans open with alacrity. John gasps and surges upward into James’s hand.

“Fuck yes.” He sucks on James’s lips. “Fuck me.”

“I intend to.” James informs him.

“Lube?” John pants.

James groans and then finally pushes himself up with another searing kiss. “Stay right here.” He walks stiff-legged down the hall to the bathroom, fishing around it the cabinet for the lube.

When he comes back John has his jeans off and sitting there in his briefs with his dick in his hands, stroking himself. James stops, sucking in a breath at the sight. Fuck, John is so gorgeous.

“Turn over.” He rasps. “Show yourself to me.”

John’s eyes darken and he rolls over to kneel on the sofa with his ass to James. His ass is just at the right angle, such a perfect pair of globes waiting for him, waiting for James’s dick.

James moves over to stand behind him. “You look so…”

John turns and looks over his shoulder at him. “Yeah?” He grins… “Go on. Tell me.”

“You have to know how fucking good you look.” James tells him. He should do something, but his brain is barely working now. He needs...to slick his cock, that's it. 

 

He does so, and slides it between John's cheeks, nearly coming from the sensation of that, feeling the heat of John’s hole against his dick. He moves closer, biting at the back of John’s neck, as he rubs his cock against John’s ass. “John, you feel amazing. You look like a fucking god. I want to touch you, your body, I want you.” He's not even drunk, the words are just tumbling out of him. 

“So fuck me.” John turns his head and sucks on James’s lower lips. “Fuck me, James.”

James doesn’t waste another a moment, reaching down to slide two fingers inside him. He starts thrusting those fingers inside him, loving the way John pushes back against his fingers, wanting more, wanting him.

He bites at the back of John’s neck.

“Fuck me.” John breathes.

“You’re not ready.”

“I am. Just come on.” John urges.

James wavers, he doesn’t want to hurt him, but then John presses back against his fingers and he can't hold back. So he lines up his dick and sinks in, with a groan.

“Fuck me.” John pressing himself back more fully upon James’s dick.

James grips him hard by the hips, pulling him upright as he thrusts into John, sinking straight down into him.

James groans into John’s hair, pressing him further down upon the sofa. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

John turns his head into and catches his mouth, kissing him. “Come on.” He pants. “More.”

James doesn’t wait, thrusting into him at an almost frenzied pace. He’s lost in the feel of John’s body under his, joined to his, John’s skin against his. It's too fast, it's going to be over too fast, he can already feel it. 

“Come in me.” John whispers and James groans again, doing exactly that. He feels John’s swift exhale and bite into his neck as he comes.

They slump against each other in a sweaty panting mess on the sofa.

“Jesus christ.” John murmurs under his breath like he can’t believe what just happened.

 James smiles into his hair, his arms going instinctively around John, holding him close against his chest. He doesn’t have any words to say, he doesn’t know what to say.

John turns his head and looks at him thoughtfully. “Well,” he says.

“Well.” James echoes.

John shifts slightly, not as though he’s uncomfortable but as though he doesn’t know whether to stay where he is. James’s hands press against his back, a wordless incentive to stay, and John settles back against his chest.”

“We made a mess.” John says matter-of-factly.

“I know.” James says.

John grins. “I take it you want me to stay.” He presses meaningfully against James who rolls his eyes.

“Yes.” He says and slides his hands down John’s jaw to kiss his mouth again.

There’s a sound of the front door opening and dimly John realizes that it’s late enough that Thomas is coming home from work.

 _He encouraged this,_ is his first thought and then _he’s going to fucking love this._

He looks up as Thomas comes into the flat and pauses, a faint smile upon his lips. “I take it coffee went well.”

“You take it correctly.” James says, and John snickers.

“Does anyone want a drink, or a tea?” Thomas inquires, going into the kitchen. “I need one.”

“Long day?” James inquires from the sofa.

“You have no idea.” Thomas says. He comes back to the doorway, tugging at his tie with one hand, a beer in his other, gazing at them speculatively. “I need a shower.”

“ _You_ need a shower.” James snorts.

John chuckles and James feels the chuckle vibrate through his chest and smothers his own chuckle against John's neck.

“Do you want company?” John asks lazily.

James eyes him and then then looks at Thomas who arches an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Thomas takes a sip of beer. “That would be nice.” He goes down the hall, whistling as he does.

John turns and rests his folded arms on James’s chest, gazing at him. “That was a bit presumptuous on my part, but…”

James kisses his mouth and rolls them both off the sofa together, catching John in his arms. “Come on.”

“All right.” John says. “Take off your clothes.”

James obeys, so by the time they get to the bathroom, they’re both naked. The shower is on, Thomas leaning against the sink, drinking his beer. His cock is long and splendid and James sighs a little at the sight of it.

John gives him a look and then James. “I do owe him a blowjob.”

“Oh, true.”

Thomas takes a final sip of beer and steps into the shower.

It’s clearly an invitation and John is good at never turning down a good invitation.

He goes to his knees, his hands encircling Thomas’s ass as he leans in to mouth at his cock. Thomas sucks in a breath, his own mouth opening in a faint o surprise at how good that feels.

James leans back against the wall, watching them. There’s a thousand different emotions churning in his gut right now. It’s arousing, it’s tantalizing, it’s erotic as fuck. He wonders if he’ll ever get used to anything without Miranda and he simply doesn’t know. What he does know, and finally admits to himself, is that it doesn’t matter whether John’s there or not. The absence of Miranda will always be felt. And in a strange way, he’s glad. He doesn’t want to forget her, not that he’s capable of that, or Thomas for that matter. But he does want to be happy. He wants to remember the good things about their time together, and not simply be overwhelmed with grief.

Thomas looks at him over John’s head as he finishes, his hand resting on John’s curls. His eyes are asking if James is all right with this, and what can James say? Silver’s not going to replace Miranda, no one could replace Miranda. But it’s not wrong to want to be happy, and she would want that. He knows that. He would want that for her.

He smiles at Thomas. Things are all right.

John glances up, at both of them.

Slowly he gets to his feet. “I’m going to give the two of you a moment.” He kisses first Thomas, and then, James, equally and gently and the way he leans into both of them, the way everything has happened today, tonight shows James that this could be real. There’s nothing holding them back, but his own fear.

And if John’s not interested in that. There is that possibility, of course, whether he wants to admit it or not.

He catches John by the rest as he exits the shower. “Hey, you’re not leaving, right?”

John gives him a look. “I’m going to dry off, and I’m going to find a shirt in your closet that looks warm and I’m going to put it on, and I’m going to be curled up in that big comfortable bed whenever the two of you finally are ready to sleep.” He yawns. “Some of us have work in the morning.”

“Good.” James says, a little feebly. Not that John’s words didn’t fill him with joy, but it’s how much he feels that overwhelms him. It’s a little too much. But maybe it’s enough?

He leans back against the shower wall, lingering a moment longer. The steamed air is still warm. In a minute or two it’ll grow chilly, and he relishes the thought of their bed with Silver waiting in it.

But for now, he looks at Thomas who’s gazing back at him.

“You look happy.” Thomas says at last, a little cautiously.

“I am.” James says and leans in, brushing his lips across Thomas’s. “How about you?”

“I told you I would get you a stripper if you wanted one.” Thomas whispers, slipping his arms around James, causing James to laugh.

“Well, thank you.” He kisses Thomas back. “I do want him.” He pulls back, looking at Thomas carefully. “What about you?”

“Oh, I want him.” Thomas assures him. “I want a variety of things with him. I want to know exactly what happened earlier, and I want to return that blowjob favor, and I want to know how it feels to wake up with him in our bed.”

“Well, hopefully we’ll find out how that feels tomorrow morning.”

“I hope so.” Thomas says, giving him a final kiss. “Shall we find out?”

“Let’s.” James reaches for his towel, tossing it to Thomas.

“James.” Thomas pulls him back for a moment. “I do love you, you know.”

“I know.” James says a little surprised. He knows Thomas loves him, Thomas knows this, doesn’t he?

“Good.” Thomas says, smiling. “Because I’m warning you right now, that man is totally going to wrap us both around his fucking little finger, you know that, right?”

James feels the smile split across his face, wider than the dawn spreading over the horizon. “I think we can manage that.”

 

*  *  * 

 

When they get to the bedroom John is there, curled up, wearing a gray shirt, his face buried in a pillow. The sight of him in his shirt makes James’s stomach give a funny little flip. He looks at Thomas and Thomas hits the lights as they both crawl into bed beside him. 

“Took you long enough,” Silver murmurs sleepily, not even opening his eyes.

“Go to sleep.” Thomas says, brushing a kiss over his head.

James stretches out, feeling Silver nestle against him automatically. He sees Thomas smiling at him in the dark. He feels Silver’s breath on his chest. He closes his eyes, wondering what tomorrow will be like. What Silver wants for breakfast. He looks forward to finding out.

 


End file.
